Yes, it is!

Saturday, August 27, 2016

A Mature Moment For My Sweet Girl

Many of my friends know the challenges I face as I raise my daughter. She may look like a typical child to most people but actually, she is a very complex kid. She has a lot of issues, especially behavioral, that we face on a near daily basis. Now with puberty in full force, we're being challenged even more.  Jackie has a form Cerebral Palsy which is thankfully a mild case, thanks to years of physical and occupational therapy. Lately, Jackie has been complaining how all these appointments, including the specialty appointments, are ruining her life.  She couldn't have been more delighted when, this past week, she was told by the eye doctor that she won't need to return for another year. This is after years of being followed up every 3-6 months.  I was so happy for my girl as she really struggles with anxiety before every eye appointment because she knows her eyes will be dilated.
Jackie has been feeling anger and resentment about her "disability" because she feels like she can never be as good as her peers in regard to physical activities like certain sports that require strong fine motor skills. Her fine motor on the left side of her body make some tasks much more difficult for her than for her peers. Jackie can run very fast, although her gait is uniquely hers. I really believe she has potential to be a great soccer player for her speed. No matter how much I encourage Jackie lately, she has been struggling with accepting her CP and asking why God made her that way. I personally struggle with the God thing but because she does believe, I have no clue, really, what to tell her.  Jackie is perfect to me. She's beautiful, intelligent, and talented. There are times that my heart hurts when I see my girl struggle with certain physical tasks but I can't imagine having a different body for her. I mean, we're so used to hearing her limp across the house. We always know when she's coming toward us because of her unique gait.  So, when she asks why God made her this way with CP, my response is always the same; "You're going to inspire people because you have a story to tell of survival and perseverance."  It's true because she was a survivor from the time she was conceived, having survived a blood clot around the placenta and then surviving a natal stroke, which resulted in her CP. She also survived a fall at age 6 weeks onto the floor from her grandmother's lap. She was still such a sickly baby then, with jaundice and failure-to-thrive issues.
Yesterday, we both heard a song on the radio and this time, I was paying attention to the words. I know I've heard that song before but for whatever reason, yesterday that song struck a chord within me. When I got home, I looked it up to discover that it was written and recorded by Hillary Scott, the lead singer for Lady Antebellum. It was written after she experienced the heartbreak of a miscarriage, something that too many of us can sadly relate to.
 So earlier tonight, as I was laying on my bed after I got my son ready for his shower, Jackie came in and laid next to me. She cuddled up next to me and started to tell me how that song from yesterday really meant a lot to her because of the words and how it makes her think about why she has CP.  Tears formed in my eyes because it just meant so much that this song was speaking to my sweet girl's heart and making her feel better about having CP. My heart swelled with pride because my precious daughter was showing such maturity at that moment. I will certainly treasure that sweet time. These are the moments that give me hope that we WILL get through these challenges of raising a such a complex child with special needs.
So here it is, Thy Will Be Done: