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Monday, August 5, 2013

Heartbroken For A Friend

A while back, I wrote a blog post asking for my readers and friends to pray for a friend of mine who had just buried her second son in a matter of three years, almost to the day.  The only thing she told me at the time was that it was an accident but unlike with her first son, it was not a vehicular accident.  She also said that an investigation was ongoing.  I didn't know any specific details and I didn't want to press my friend for more information as I knew that she was still struggling to even keep it together.  I left there with a very heavy heart for her. 

Fast forward to today,  we were able to meet for lunch while our children played. She has a daughter, just 2 1/2 months younger than Jackie.  When we first met, we were both pregnant with our daughters.  We moved to this area around the same time and we kept running into each other at the OB clinic and at the commissary.  We finally exchanged numbers, however we didn't see each other very much as she lived quite a distance away.  Three years ago, she and her family were transferred to another base but they returned to this area a year ago.  I didn't see my friend again until this past November, a few months after she and her family returned.  

My friend was able to share a little more with me today without breaking down.  I'm not sure how to explain what happened except to say that I really, REALLY hope that parents do a lot of research before they allow their teen to take Accutane.  My friend did do her research but after her son became of age to sign consent for it (age 18 years), he did so in order to treat his acne.  Even so, my friend's son never showed any of the side effects that this drug is commonly known for.  I knew this young man and I knew that he was raised in a very loving environment.  He was on the Dean's list at college, he was very close to his little sister, he enjoyed doing things with his family, and he was very well-liked by all of his friends.  He was, by all accounts, a shining star to all those who knew him.  He was also a Christian.  I knew from the moment I met him nearly 9 years ago that he was a very special person. My heart aches for my friend.  

Talking to my friend and assuring her what I believe about her son being in heaven (if heaven truly is real), I couldn't help but become a little angry at the memories of being preached at in years past that suicide is a sin and you're automatically doomed to hell.  As somebody who has experienced such deep emotional pain to the point of wanting to die, I now know that a person in such a state is unable to think rationally or even think about how it will affect their loved ones.  I'm talking about suicide, in case you didn't get it, yet.  Thankfully, I personally don't struggle with such feelings now.   But there are so many others out there. It makes me very sad every time I hear about somebody, somebody who has such a promising future, dying in this manner.  

Going back to the accutane, I have heard too many tragic stories involving the use of this drug.  One high profile case occurred while I was still living in Tampa. You might recall the teen who flew a small plane into a downtown Tampa highrise.  That teen was on Accutane.  There are numerous other tragic cases linked to Accutane.  Personally, as a mom, and one who has struggled with depression and anxiety, I will never consent to having my children treated with Accutane.  And especially so, because Jackie has been showing signs of an anxiety disorder. 

 I implore all of my friends and readers to please do heavy research before consenting to the use of Accutane. 

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