Yes, it is!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

For the Love of Walmart

Walmart has a tendency to bring out the worst in me.  I usually try to not bring the kids with me in order to avoid the "Walmart mom" label.  Ugh.  Unfortunately, this is not always possible so I do my best to avoid going to that place altogether. 
Today was an exception.  Since the hubster has decided that he will keep the 4-Runner for now (instead of selling it), he wanted to get new tires put on it before we leave for a road trip out of state this week.  And because certain people in this household are known for last minute decisions, it was up to me to have the tires put on this afternoon.  I knew it was going to be a long wait and I was not looking forward to dealing with my kids inside the Walmart store for 2 hours.  But, I said a little prayer and we were on our way. 
We got to the Walmart and went inside to order the tires. (I should first give my kids credit because they have been much better behaved at stores lately so why should I expect it to be any different today).  Okay, so the kids were standing next to me while I gave the cashier my information and handed over my keys.  Then suddenly, I realized that it was awfully quiet around me.  Strangely quiet.  I looked around me and noticed that Ben was missing.  Then I looked behind me and found Ben inside a stack of tires, hiding from me.  Being the underprotective mom that I am, I quickly took out my phone to take a picture of my cute boy. 
I got Ben out of the stack of tires and told the kids "let's go wreak havoc."  I looked up and saw one of the employees looking at me and smiling.  And giggling.  Oops.  Walmart mom has reared her ugly head already.  While all this was going on, Jackie was carrying around her lunch and eating.  I heard her gasp and then whine a little.  When I looked at her, she looked distressed and was holding her mouth open.  Her loose tooth was flapping in the wind.  All this happened before we even left the auto/tire department.  I sat Jackie down on the bench, grabbed a tissue out of my purse, and removed the tooth.  Only in Walmart, of course.  Jackie insisted on a piece of the tissue to hold over the hole in her mouth. 
Finally, we left the auto department to go wreak havoc on the store.  I just knew my kids would start to act like hellions with 2 hours to kill.  We were barely out of the auto department when Ben started on his "buy dis mom" habit.  A ladder?  We don't need another ladder.  "It lello".  I don't care if it's yellow, we don't need another ladder.   Ben started crying.  Crying over a ladder.  Ha!  I suggested that we go look at the bikes since Ben needs a bigger bike now that he's riding sans training wheels.  So, like any other Walmart mom, I took a couple of the little bikes out of the rack for Ben to try out.  He rode up and down the aisle and nearly ran over another customer.  (Did I say Walmart mom?)  I finally convinced Ben that he did a great job riding a big bike and that it was time to put the bikes back in their proper places. He begged me to buy them all. Ha. 
In the meantime, Jackie still has the little piece of tissue hanging out of her mouth and by now, it is a bloody, slobbery mess.  The restroom was just around the corner so we made our way over there where I made Jackie spit out her tissue.  The kids then both decided that they needed to use the restroom.  (I love loathe public restrooms and my kids know it.  Hence, why they suddenly develop the urge to visit a public restroom no matter where we go).  So, after debating about which stalls to choose from, they each finally chose one.   Meanwhile, an employee came in to beautify herself in front of the mirror.  Suddenly, Ben loudly proclaims "Mom! Me go poo pooooo!"  (Did I say LOUDLY?)  Never a dull moment.  The employee chuckled and I thanked Ben for the entertainment.  He thanked me back.  Did I say Walmart mom?  (Ben did the same this earlier this week at JCPenney and caused the customers in there to laugh.  There's just something about that little voice that 's so entertaining when he proclaims what bodily function he's performing at the time.)  Oh, and Jackie insisted on another piece of tissue for the hole in her mouth. Yeah, Walmart mom here.  Whatever keeps the peace. 
We finally made it out of the restroom and decided to pick out some snacks for our roadtrip.  While we were in the grocery area, I heard an announcement that was music to my ears.  My vehicle was ready!  The time passed by so quickly. We quickly picked out a few snack items and made our way back to the auto department.  It wasn't until we got there that I noticed Jackie still had that darn slobbery tissue hanging out of her mouth.  Ugh.  Walmart mom here didn't even notice it until now. 
I paid for the tires and got my keys and we left.  For the first time in a long time inside of a Walmart, both of my kids managed to get along and act like civilized little children.  Gone are the days (hopefully) of riding on the rack below the shopping cart (anything to keep the peace, you know).  Gone are the days (hopefully) of my daughter walking away from me only to have my name blasted over the intercom system to come retrieve my daughter at the front desk. (EMBARRASSING!). 
 Despite the embarrassing little incidents, my kids actually behaved like normal little children (and provided a little entertainment) inside Walmart.  And, we left nearly $800 poorer but rich in memories.  Now, let's hope the tooth fairy doesn't forget her duties tonight. 

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