Yes, it is!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Truth Comes Out

As many of my readers may have read in my last post, Ben decided to "style" his hair nearly 2 weeks ago, the night before we left for an out of town trip.  When I first confronted the kids about it, they both put the blame solely on Ben himself.  So, all this time, I was left trying to figure out how Ben managed to scalp the very front of his head with safety scissors.  It just did not seem possible that he could have done it himself but Ben, himself, took the blame.  Well, mystery solved.
Yesterday, Jackie started day camp for the week so I had just Ben.  He and I ran a few errands in the afternoon.  One of those errands was a trip to Target.  At the check-out, Ben told the cashier "you nice."  She was all "oh thank you, how sweet".  Then she asked Ben if he cut his hair.  Ben's reply:  "Jackie help me."  Hmm. 
When I picked up Jackie from day camp, I asked her about cutting Ben's hair.  Her immediate response was "I didn't do it" and then she immediately turned to Ben and said "LIAR!"  For a moment, I wanted to believe Jackie but my instincts dictated otherwise.  I told Jackie to not get so upset about the allegation because now we can just laugh about it.  However, the scissors are put away for an extended period of time.
That evening, I took the kids to VBS and Ben repeated the allegation that his sister helped me.  Of course, Jackie emphatically denied again.  I'm leaning toward Ben's "story".  There is just no way he could have scalped himself in that particular pattern without a little help from somebody else. 
The scissors will remain in time-out for the time-being.  And I need to continue to reinforce the "truth will set  you free" philosophy with my children.  Ha!  I must be dreaming.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Ben

A week and a half ago, Ben decided to "style" his hair.   The night right before we were to leave for a 12-hour out of town trip to Texas.  The funny thing is, Ben walked around like this for hours before anyone noticed. 
This particular evening was spent running a couple of errands and me going to a Zumba class since I knew that I would not be doing much exercise while we were out of town.  I went to my class at 6 pm and I know that my son's hair was normal.  When I came home an hour later, I noticed that my piano bench was placed in front of the sofa and my hair spray and a few other hair accessories were also on the sofa.  I just figured that the kids were safely styling their hair again.  It did not occur to me the possibility that they were actually playing barber shop.  Even though Jackie's school safety scissors were sitting right there with the hair stuff.  I mean, can safety scissors really cut hair? 
Soon, I left to pick up salad and soup for all of us at the Panera.  As I was leaving, I saw that my kids were playing with the neighbor kids.  Jackie came running up to me to give me a quick hug.  I noticed Ben just sat on the neighbor's drive-way with the other kids but he kept a downward glance.  He did look up at me quickly, though. I thought he looked sort of weird from a distance but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.  I just figured that he had something in his hair and I would just wash it when he got his shower that night.
Soon after getting back home from Panera, I called the kids in to eat.  Then I finished cleaning and packing.  As I put my piano bench back in it's proper place, I happened to notice a small pile of brownish hair.  Again, it never occurred to me that my children were playing barber shop earlier because I foolishly thought that this hair must have come from my red mini-aussie. 
By the time I got all of our stuff packed for the trip, it was nearly 11:00 and the kids were still awake.  My plan was to let them stay up as late as they wanted to with the hope that they would sleep for the first half of the trip. (Ha!)  We had planned to leave at 4:00 in the morning.  Jackie finally fell asleep on the sofa and I found Ben playing in Jackie's bedroom.  Even though Ben had gotten his shower earlier that night, I did not get a chance to wash his hair.  So, when I found Ben in Jackie's room, I noticed Ben's hair and at first I could not understand why his hair still seemed to be so flat in the front.  Until I took a closer look that is.  Oh. My. G.  What I thought was a flattened hair line earlier ended up being no hair at all.  At. All!  I gasped, I nearly screamed, I almost started crying, I yelled at Ben "why?!".  He just looked at me and shrugged.  Shrugged!  Like it was no big deal.  This was a big deal. It was now after 11:00 at night and we were planning to leave in 4 hours for a 12 hour road trip.  What was I to do?  I was panicked for sure.  I asked Ben how he cut his hair and he said scissors.  Oh. My. G. Those "safety scissors".  Safety scissors!  If Ben had not fessed up to that, I would have assumed that he got ahold of one of my shavers (which, believe me, I keep high out of his reach).  I even posted a picture on Facebook but everyone saw humor in it.  (Apparently there are many other night owls out there beside me).  After I calmed down, I was able to find a little bit of humor but then I started to worry about how Tim was going to react when he saw the damage.  (Thankfully, he took it well).
Most of my friends who responded on Facebook suggested getting Ben's hair buzzed.  Ugh. I just couldn't fathom that.  But then, I couldn't fathom my son walking around with a "V" formation right smack dab in front for the next few weeks.  But thankfully, most people who noticed Ben's hair immediately assumed correctly that Ben took the scissors to his hair.
Look at that sweet innocent face. Ha!


So, after about an hour of sleep on my part, we got on the road.  I was a bit embarrassed whenever we stopped to get gas or food so I tried to make Ben wear his hat.  I certainly didn't want anybody to catch on to the new hairstyle.  I asked Tim if he noticed Ben's hair the night before.  Tim said that he thought Ben looked sort of funny but he didn't know what it was (Dang ADD). Well, this happened during his watch while I was at my Zumba class the night before. (Again, dang ADD)
 We made it to Texas safely and everyone there got a good chuckle.  I still mulled over whether or not to get Ben's hair buzzed.  Well, as fate would have it, Ben made it home with his "V".  In other words, no buzz cut.  I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  Plus, I didn't want my son to (illegally) garner sympathy as a chemotherapy patient. 
By the time we got home from Texas, Ben's "V" was starting to show small traces of hair growth.  So yesterday (just 10 days after the near scalping), I took Ben to the hair place to finally get it buzzed.  I explained to the girl what happened and how long ago it happened.  She looked at Ben's hair and actually recommended that I wait for another week, at least, so that she can buzz it at a 2 1/2 instead of a 1 which is what would have matched Ben's "V".  I agreed, seeing that there was a significant difference in the blade (or whatever you call it) numbers.   So, Ben still have his "V" and I'm patiently waiting until next Friday or Saturday.
This boy of mine has kept me busy lately with his antics.  He has been a source of entertainment for most people.  And me, sometimes.  Just a few days before we left for our trip, Ben intentionally dropped his pants in front of Jackie and the neighbor girls and tried to draw attention to his treasure (you get my drift).  He's 4!  Four years old!  Where did he get this idea?  Well, he was busted by his daddy and immediately brought into the house.  Needless to say, Ben and I had a little chat about appropriate behavior (even if I was giggling inside) and we went over to apologize to the neighbors (who also found it quite humorous).  Ah, boys! 
While we were in Texas, Tim's cousin asked Ben what he wanted to be when he grew up.  Ben responded with " me be a nice daddy" and then ran off to play.  It was too funny and cute and everyone got a good chuckle from that one.  I certainly do hope that Ben ends up being a nice daddy.  And an awesome husband. 
Lately, not a day goes by that Ben hasn't done something to bring a few chuckles.  He is just so full of it lately.  And the so-called safety scissors have been put in a new high place.  Now to see how long it takes Ben to find them.  He's talented like that.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Busted!

So last night the tooth fairy didn't make an appearance.  Jackie woke up this morning and promptly let me know that the tooth fairy must have forgotten about her tooth because the tooth was still under her pillow.  Ha!  I told Jackie that the tooth fairy probably skipped right by her room last night because there wasn't a clear path for the tooth fairy to make her way to the bed.  Perhaps if Jackie would clean up her room and put things away, then the tooth fairy may just come back tonight.  (Jackie has had more than enough fair warning about her room situation, like 3 days already)
I sternly warned Jackie that if she did not clean her room up today, then there would be no outside play and that I'm pretty sure the tooth fairy will not make a visit.  Again.
This afternoon, on our way to one of Jackie's therapy appointments, Jackie told me that the tooth fairy could have still visited her last night because she should be able to fly.  Huh?  Well, they do have wings.  Oops, I didn't think about that.  So, I've been busted.  I just told Jackie that whether the tooth fairy was real or not, the room had to be clean and a clear path to her bed needed to be made. 
So here I sit, still prodding (4th straight day) Jackie to clean her room so that our house and pet sitter can have a clean (and safe) place to sleep.  Unfortunately, Jackie's slothful way is rearing it's ugly head again.  So, I guess this tooth fairy better get up, grab the plastic storage bins, and convert to the mean, toy confiscating mom.  Hmm, I was just thinking, who came up with the idea of a tooth fairy?

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

For the Love of Walmart

Walmart has a tendency to bring out the worst in me.  I usually try to not bring the kids with me in order to avoid the "Walmart mom" label.  Ugh.  Unfortunately, this is not always possible so I do my best to avoid going to that place altogether. 
Today was an exception.  Since the hubster has decided that he will keep the 4-Runner for now (instead of selling it), he wanted to get new tires put on it before we leave for a road trip out of state this week.  And because certain people in this household are known for last minute decisions, it was up to me to have the tires put on this afternoon.  I knew it was going to be a long wait and I was not looking forward to dealing with my kids inside the Walmart store for 2 hours.  But, I said a little prayer and we were on our way. 
We got to the Walmart and went inside to order the tires. (I should first give my kids credit because they have been much better behaved at stores lately so why should I expect it to be any different today).  Okay, so the kids were standing next to me while I gave the cashier my information and handed over my keys.  Then suddenly, I realized that it was awfully quiet around me.  Strangely quiet.  I looked around me and noticed that Ben was missing.  Then I looked behind me and found Ben inside a stack of tires, hiding from me.  Being the underprotective mom that I am, I quickly took out my phone to take a picture of my cute boy. 
I got Ben out of the stack of tires and told the kids "let's go wreak havoc."  I looked up and saw one of the employees looking at me and smiling.  And giggling.  Oops.  Walmart mom has reared her ugly head already.  While all this was going on, Jackie was carrying around her lunch and eating.  I heard her gasp and then whine a little.  When I looked at her, she looked distressed and was holding her mouth open.  Her loose tooth was flapping in the wind.  All this happened before we even left the auto/tire department.  I sat Jackie down on the bench, grabbed a tissue out of my purse, and removed the tooth.  Only in Walmart, of course.  Jackie insisted on a piece of the tissue to hold over the hole in her mouth. 
Finally, we left the auto department to go wreak havoc on the store.  I just knew my kids would start to act like hellions with 2 hours to kill.  We were barely out of the auto department when Ben started on his "buy dis mom" habit.  A ladder?  We don't need another ladder.  "It lello".  I don't care if it's yellow, we don't need another ladder.   Ben started crying.  Crying over a ladder.  Ha!  I suggested that we go look at the bikes since Ben needs a bigger bike now that he's riding sans training wheels.  So, like any other Walmart mom, I took a couple of the little bikes out of the rack for Ben to try out.  He rode up and down the aisle and nearly ran over another customer.  (Did I say Walmart mom?)  I finally convinced Ben that he did a great job riding a big bike and that it was time to put the bikes back in their proper places. He begged me to buy them all. Ha. 
In the meantime, Jackie still has the little piece of tissue hanging out of her mouth and by now, it is a bloody, slobbery mess.  The restroom was just around the corner so we made our way over there where I made Jackie spit out her tissue.  The kids then both decided that they needed to use the restroom.  (I love loathe public restrooms and my kids know it.  Hence, why they suddenly develop the urge to visit a public restroom no matter where we go).  So, after debating about which stalls to choose from, they each finally chose one.   Meanwhile, an employee came in to beautify herself in front of the mirror.  Suddenly, Ben loudly proclaims "Mom! Me go poo pooooo!"  (Did I say LOUDLY?)  Never a dull moment.  The employee chuckled and I thanked Ben for the entertainment.  He thanked me back.  Did I say Walmart mom?  (Ben did the same this earlier this week at JCPenney and caused the customers in there to laugh.  There's just something about that little voice that 's so entertaining when he proclaims what bodily function he's performing at the time.)  Oh, and Jackie insisted on another piece of tissue for the hole in her mouth. Yeah, Walmart mom here.  Whatever keeps the peace. 
We finally made it out of the restroom and decided to pick out some snacks for our roadtrip.  While we were in the grocery area, I heard an announcement that was music to my ears.  My vehicle was ready!  The time passed by so quickly. We quickly picked out a few snack items and made our way back to the auto department.  It wasn't until we got there that I noticed Jackie still had that darn slobbery tissue hanging out of her mouth.  Ugh.  Walmart mom here didn't even notice it until now. 
I paid for the tires and got my keys and we left.  For the first time in a long time inside of a Walmart, both of my kids managed to get along and act like civilized little children.  Gone are the days (hopefully) of riding on the rack below the shopping cart (anything to keep the peace, you know).  Gone are the days (hopefully) of my daughter walking away from me only to have my name blasted over the intercom system to come retrieve my daughter at the front desk. (EMBARRASSING!). 
 Despite the embarrassing little incidents, my kids actually behaved like normal little children (and provided a little entertainment) inside Walmart.  And, we left nearly $800 poorer but rich in memories.  Now, let's hope the tooth fairy doesn't forget her duties tonight. 

Friday, June 1, 2012

Funny Zumba Posts

As most of my friends know, I have my Zumba instructor license.  I am also a member of a private Facebook devoted to ZINs (zumba instructor network) in the St. Louis area.  Recently, one of the members posted a link to a blog post that gave a hilarious perspective to the zumba experience.  After I read this post and and nearly wet my pants as I was seized by laughter, I went back and read some of the author's other blog posts.  This woman is HILARIOUS.  She has a new follower here.  I noticed the blogger is from St. Louis so I got in touch with her via email and asked permission to share her hilarious posts on my own blog.  From the email response that I received from her, I can tell right away that this girl is the real deal.  She is HILARIOUS.  And highly intelligent.  And an awesome writer.  So thank you to my new blogger friend, Lisa, for allowing me to share her blog on my own blog. 
Just click on the links below and enjoy! You're in for a hilarious read.
Zoom, Zoom, Zumba! 
Nine ridiculous observations I've made about Zumba instructors

Lisa's observations had me nearly rolling on the floor in laughter.  As ridiculous as they are (hey, she said it first), those observations are actually often right on.  I have seen those instructors myself but I never really gave it any thought.  At least, not until I read Lisa's hilarious posts.  So I guess I must be lacking as a typical ZIN since:
1. I don't wear the rubber bracelets. (I get too hot and I have sensory issues).
2. I don't mind the bright colors, however I do like to match.  So, I do fit this category a little.
3. I'm a quiet Zumba-er.  No Tourette's here. 
4. I know I don't look good when I work out.   My friends do, though, and I'm jealous.
5. I don't hate Mexican food.  But,  I'm pretty sure some in my Zumba classes love it as indicated
     by the aromas that emanate from certain locations around the room.  (Lisa, now that I know about
     your love of Mexican food and your gassy problem, I'm sure you would blend in really well in my
     classes over here.  Hehehehe. Okay friends, just read her blog.  Then you will understand.)
6.  I wish I had artificial hips if it would help me move my hips and butt better. 
7.  Well, she does have a point with this one.   But I blame my short memory on aging being that I'm a
      quiet, non-rubber bracelet wearing Zumba-er.
8.  No, it is not for the weak hearted.  But take heart, Lisa. Zumba can be for the overweight.  I also
     remember my first couple of times, how difficult it was to get beyond the first 15 minutes.  So, I'm
     not about to let you give up on Zumba.  You stick with it, my friend.   And I just love squats as my
     own personal trainer will tell you. 
9.  Walking and chewing gum?  I don't know about this one.  That's a new one tome.  I'll have to make
      my own observations during the next few classes that I attend.

If you're looking for something to bring a smile or laughter to your soul, just read Lisa's blog at www.rantingseriously.com.  Don't let the blog title scare you.  This girl is heading somewhere with her gift of humor writing.  And I'm jealous.