Yes, it is!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Farewell

I think this is my last post.  I've enjoyed writing and sharing my struggles and triumphs in mothering special needs children, being a wife, and just plain being a mess.  I've enjoyed hearing from others with whom I share a common bond.  I enjoyed the encouragement about my writing skills.  I've enjoyed the encouragement about my struggle with faith issues.  I appreciate all of it.  But unfortunately some things must come to an end.  And this is one of them. 
I had not planned to end this so abruptly but apparently, the hubby thinks that we should live in a bubble.  We should not get close to neighbors and now that there have been some issues that have transpired between neighboring children (and mine), hubby thinks that's proof of why we are not to get close to anyone. And as for my blog, well, apparently a young neighbor found it and brought it to her parents' attention.  They read the last blog post where I explained a certain situation and sought advice/suggestions about what to do.  Refer to the last blog post to understand.  These neighbors were not too pleased with what I wrote. But I'm glad they saw it, though, because it prompted these neighbors to come over and talk to me after I had tried several times to call and/or ring their doorbell to no avail to try to talk to them about how I was feeling about what's been going on between all of our kids.   It seems there are some very hurt feelings (perhaps rightfully so?) from my blog post and they felt as if I was seeing certain children as a scapegoat.  Which is not even the case.  I care about all of those children and I want my children to continue playing peacefully with the neighborhood kids. But frankly, I was at my wits' end with all of the whining from Jackie, the hitting, feeling like I'm stuck in the middle of neighbor disputes, etc.   Even though I'm glad the neighbors found and read that blog post, I was surprised that they went as far back as nearly a year, possibly in an effort to see where else I may have gossiped. They found the blog post where I updated everyone after Jackie's very scary and traumatic injury.  Apparently, my use of one word caused some hurt feelings in that post. It was a benign use of the word /finally/ and not at all intentional to negate anybody.  At. All. But that made me feel as if there could be other people who out there who might attempt to cause harm by trying to dig up old garbage.  I can assure my readers, though, that nobody is going to find garbage in my blog. 
Last night, after the neighbors left,  it was already late and I had to get the kids into bed by myself, thanks to Tim abandoning me to his room after the meeting.  I was up until past 3AM, unable to sleep, re-reading that blog post (and the one about Jackie's injury), and having thoughts running through my mind all night about what transpired during our "meeting".  I've always felt like I need to take the blame for whatever situation occurs in my life and this was no exception.  I finally came to the conclusion that my children just will not be able to play outside unless I am hovering over them.  Apparently, the apparent lack of supervision is bothersome for some people although my children are mostly supervised while outside. (Well, their dad is more of a slacker in this area) I usually sit in a chair in the garage but lately have been sitting it in the front yard while the kids are outside if there is no other parent observing. But when I need to start dinner preparations or need to do something else inside, I intentionally leave the inside garage door wide open (as well as the front door) so that I can hear and somewhat supervise the children.  But that will no longer work because that makes it appear that the children are not being supervised.  And like I said, this is bothersome for some people.  So, unfortunately, my children will have to start spending more time indoors.  Without friends.  But that's the price we'll pay to avoid further problems. Whatever their father decides to do when I'm not home, well, that's up to him but I'm staying out of it.
Now the reason I am ending this blog is because the hubby apparently thinks that we should live in a bubble.  He said that we should not become close to the neighbors (which I really don't feel too close, I just felt that we have great neighbors).  He's the type that we don't ask for any type of help from neighbors, although he is more than willing to help whenever a neighbor has asked for any type of help.  He says that our children should fight their own battles, including when it becomes physical.  I'm sorry but I have a problem with the physical part, especially because Jackie seems to be a target for hitting by too many people, including her brother.  Now I realize Jackie is a very whiny child (which drives me to the point of near insanity at times) but she does not deserve to be physically battered.  I don't make a habit of intervening between the little fights among all the friends unless it turns physical.  But apparently I'm in the wrong. No? I don't know. Perhaps reading my last blog post will help you understand what's going on. 
So, in accordance with the hubby's wishes, I shall no longer share my life or share stories about my children. Or share struggles and triumphs.  I shall go to live in my own little bubble and go back to my reclusive ways from here on out.  Having my children had brought me out of my own little world and it forced me to become more outgoing.  And for that, I am grateful. Even though I never felt fully comfortable being outgoing, it was fun while it lasted.  So thanks to all my bloggy friends for your "friendship", albeit temporary. Like they say, some things last for just a season.

6 comments:

Mediation Experts said...

Quite sad to hear about your experience with neighbors.

Anonymous said...

It seems

Anonymous said...

Sorry! But it seems to me you have a great deal of spare time on your hands. Your last two blogs are ridiculous! Maybe you should sit back and take a long hard look at your motivation for writing a blog. Attention? Poor poor me syndrome? or maybe you are just a martyr. Have you considered focusing the time and effort you have spent blogging on your relationship with your husband. The neighbors have every right to be upset. You have stated in your blog your children are "somewhat" supervised. What is that? While your children are outside they should be supervised at ALL TIMES! If someone attempted to abduct them you could hear their scream from the kitchen but you would be useless in aiding the police in identifing the vehicle or person. How comfortable would you be knowing you were in the kitchen then? I value my children more than that and apparently your husband does too. You think you live in a bubble now, how would you feel if one of your children disappeared and you could have helped to have prevented it. That sounds like a horrible void I would take the "bubble" any day.

Samantha said...

Dear Anonymous,
Why did you submit your comment under the cover of anonymity? That's okay, though, because I have my suspicions. In fact, I'm just giving you a heads up that IP addresses are logged on this website.
I can say a lot more about your comment but I'm not going to stoop to that level. In fact, I'm going to leave it here for awhile for others to read before I delete it.

Tiffany Noth said...

I very much hope you find out who left that comment... though I'm sure you already have a good idea {and yes it is easily traceable}. It's hard having a blog and putting your true thoughts, feelings and emotions out there. Most people feel entitled to tell you how you should think, feel, act, react... You and your husband know what is best for you and yours. No one else can tell you how to live or should put you down for it.

Tricia said...

not only do you have an IP address but you can also get their home address so for all those who post anonymous just so you know UR NOT. and remember one thing DON"T THROW Stones at people when u live in Glass houses. Karma is a bitch and she may visit your door. just saying. oh and by the way have a nice day.