Yes, it is!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I Need to Do This More Often

Last night as usual, I went to my Tuesday evening Zumba class.  Sometimes, I will take Jackie with me and she will go to the playcenter at the Y.  I usually do it to so that Tim wouldn't have to deal with 2 fighting children while I'm gone for an hour and a half.  He just doesn't deal with it as well as I do.  But last night, I left Jackie at home hoping that all would be well when I got back home.  Wrong!
As soon as I walked in the door, Tim greeted me at the door, very stressed out, and stated "I can't take her anymore."  What happened now?  I couldn't quite the entire story from him but I got the impression that Jackie was in one of her meltdown modes after her dad told her multiple times to help pick up toys.  (This is why I unplug the TV) I immediately went into Jackie's room where she was crying and where she was supposed to be getting ready for bed.  She still had on her school clothes.  I then checked on Ben and he was already sitting in bed with a book.  So, I went back to Jackie's room and sternly told her that she better have her bed clothes on before I finish taking the trash canister out to the curb for the next day pick-up.  I came back inside and by now, Jackie had her bed clothes on (a miracle as this feat can take her over an hour with her poky-ness) and she needed help buttoning up her top.  I then brushed her teeth myself and walked her back into her room.  I then sat on Jackie's bed next to her to talk to her for a moments, no yelling or stern talking, just casual talking.  I then affirmed to Jackie how much her dad and I love her and that we want only the best for her and that is why we expect her to obey us.  I told her that we want her to be somebody that people would enjoy being around.  That means first-time obedience and no meltdowns.  Then I prayed an earnest prayer with Jackie, even asking God to help Jackie be a more obedient little girl.  We prayed for her healing from CP and for protection at school the next day.  We also prayed for her behavior to get better, sassy-ness and all.  Jackie then asked me to pray that God will wake her up in the middle of the night to go potty.  (I'll get to that in a moment.)  That request warmed me because this is an issue that she has struggled with and she wants so badly to wake up EVERY morning with dry pants.  So, I prayed with Jackie about that, that her brain will get the message before her bladder works during the night when Jackie has to potty.  I then thanked God for my precious children, my miracles.  After we said amen, I just sat next to Jackie while I caressed her back and head for a few moments.  What a huge difference this made in Jackie's mood and it took just a few minutes.  It felt so good that I was able to help Jackie get into a "happy spirit" before I kissed and hugged her goodnight.  I have to share that this has not always been the case.  Tim and I sometimes will be so aggravated with Jackie at bedtime that we will just put her to bed without really reassuring her of our love for her.  I have realized over the last couple of months that Jackie so needs this reassurance.  But still, I didn't feel that I was very sincere with her because of my frustration with her at times. Jackie is a very strong-willed child and we get so frustrated with her.  But I have been getting better and last night was testament that this is what I need to strive to do EVERY night, frustration or not. 
Now to explain Jackie's personal prayer request.  Jackie is 6 years old but I still have to use protection on Jackie's bed and on her because Jackie still has a bed-wetting issue.  This is the first time that I am publicly writing about this as it has been a very difficult issue, not only for Jackie, but for me.  I felt like I was doing something wrong as a mother.  Why couldn't my 6-year old sleep through the night without wetting?  She does have dry mornings but the wet mornings outnumber the dry.  I have had her evaluated.  Jackie's neurologist said that Jackie is too young still to be very concerned about it now.  And she was evaluated by a physical therapist who specializes in the area of bed-wetting.  That therapist also was not very concerned about the night-time wetting because of Jackie's age.  Jackie does tend to sleep very heavily.  I have cut out fluids for Jackie from 7pm on.  I have used rewards.  I have even tried rousing her and carrying her to the toilet in the middle of the night in an effort to help Jackie achieve her goal of staying dry.  That is so difficult.  It was like carrying dead weight.  So, I just continue to provide pull-up pants for Jackie for night-time use. And I keep her mattress covered with a vinyl cover,  2 mattress pad covers and a chux pad.  I feel bad when Jackie wants to sleep over at a friend's house and I have to pack a pull-up for her.  I know she feels a little self-conscious about it but she has gotten used to it.  I have spoken to a few other moms in the past couple of years who have had daughters with the same issue and some of those girls didn't outgrow the bedwetting until they were 11-12 years old.  In fact, Tim's aunt, whom we visited last summer in California, shared that she was 12 years old before she finally quit wetting her bed.  So, it does make me feel better that I am not alone in this.  I sometimes can't help but wonder if Jackie's bedwetting problem is partly due to her CP.  The neurologist said it may or may not be.  At this age, he is very hesitant to do any testing right now.  So, we will just continue to keep Jackie's mattress protected and allow her to continue to wear pull-ups.  Maybe one day soon, God will answer Jackie's prayer. I sure hope so.  It is a little disconcerting when Jackie's 3-year old brother has more dry mornings than does Jackie.  So there you have it.  Another secret out of the bag. 

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